Mouth Fulla Platinum

Mar 22
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if you don’t believe that the pen is mightier than the sword, then you’ve probably never huffed a sharpie before.

Mar 21
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nancy pelosi whipping out her cock would have been the perfect punctuation to the health care reform bill passing. opportunity? missed.

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without multiple photo albums dedicated solely to her self-portraits, she felt that she would fade into facebook obscurity forever.

Mar 20
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it’s not every day that a man wearing a jumpsuit adorned with the american flag tells you that your mother has a penis. today was that day.

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happy national snowman burning day! since there isn’t any snow left to burn, want to play horseshoes with live hand grenades instead?

Mar 19
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“sacagawea is on the golden dollar coin, but pocahontas isn’t on anything at all?” true, but she can paint with all the colors of the wind.

Mar 17
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it seems only fitting that i use st. patrick’s day as a pretext for acknowledging my deeply-rooted hatred of riverdance.

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ordering pizza as i drive a toyota, just as my irish ancestors intended when they immigrated to america.

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i believe it’s not butter.

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today’s life lesson: http://i.imgur.com/nHZg7.gif