Mouth Fulla Platinum

if you don’t believe that the pen is mightier than the sword, then you’ve probably never huffed a sharpie before.

nancy pelosi whipping out her cock would have been the perfect punctuation to the health care reform bill passing. opportunity? missed.

without multiple photo albums dedicated solely to her self-portraits, she felt that she would fade into facebook obscurity forever.

it’s not every day that a man wearing a jumpsuit adorned with the american flag tells you that your mother has a penis. today was that day.

happy national snowman burning day! since there isn’t any snow left to burn, want to play horseshoes with live hand grenades instead?

“sacagawea is on the golden dollar coin, but pocahontas isn’t on anything at all?” true, but she can paint with all the colors of the wind.

it seems only fitting that i use st. patrick’s day as a pretext for acknowledging my deeply-rooted hatred of riverdance.

ordering pizza as i drive a toyota, just as my irish ancestors intended when they immigrated to america.

i believe it’s not butter.