don’t act so surprised when i ask how many dead rodents you are hiding under your bumpit®. i feel as though that is a legitimate question.
Mouth Fulla Platinum
Mar 16
if you want me, you can find me in front of the 24-hour clinic, trying to turn this syphilis limp into a swagger.
if you hate perky jerky, then you hate freedom. http://www.perkyjerky.com/what_is_pj.php
technology ruined the art of looting.
Mar 15
yes, that was a terrible joke and yes, i am a day late in telling it. oh well, everybody on twitter knows how THAT feels.
all daylight saving time means is that people stay uglier one hour later every day until the fall.
a gross of praying mantises is equal to a jar of jehovah’s witness tears. this is what happens when math and religion (and alcohol) collide.
bottom shelf tequila is how i say “fuck you” to what little dignity i have left.
parents don’t seem to realize that by naming their daughter pash’un, they are condemning her to a life of stripping and chronic misspelling.
the ides of march, st. ides, falling over. you see the logical progression.
