Tumblr (3.0; @mouthfullaplatinum)http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/<p>i wonder which one will end up being the gay beastie boy.</p>http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/438502325http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/438502325Wed, 10 Mar 2010 00:32:56 -0600<p>since all of my emotions are eventually distilled into anger anyway, i may as well just skip the intermediate stages and start punching you.</p>http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/437452844http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/437452844Tue, 09 Mar 2010 15:18:59 -0600<p>it would be hard to tell your children that the easter bunny is actually their alcoholic uncle in a pink suit … through all of the laughter.</p>http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/436050459http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/436050459Mon, 08 Mar 2010 21:53:14 -0600<p>because every girl aspires to be a “wearing shoes that be talking” bitch when she grows up. <a href="http://bit.ly/8Z2Iq4">http://bit.ly/8Z2Iq4</a></p>http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/435542378http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/435542378Mon, 08 Mar 2010 17:52:55 -0600<p>my coworker is kicking the vending machine in order to get his candy bar. apparently it’s also international treat objects like women day.</p>http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/435542361http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/435542361Mon, 08 Mar 2010 17:52:55 -0600<p>satisfaction is successfully convincing someone that benjamin franklin invented crystal light.</p>http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/433538709http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/433538709Sun, 07 Mar 2010 19:19:45 -0600<p>has anyone ever seen madonna and willem dafoe in the same nightmare? no? exactly.</p>http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/433107345http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/433107345Sun, 07 Mar 2010 15:34:17 -0600<p>sometimes all i need to make it through the day is the threat of a headbutt from @<a href="http://twitter.com/gustache">gustache</a>. happiness is impending injury.</p>http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/431669971http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/431669971Sat, 06 Mar 2010 22:54:14 -0600<p>as long as you keep bringing whores around, this crack house will never be a crack home.</p>http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/431669979http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/431669979Sat, 06 Mar 2010 22:54:14 -0600<p>apparently it’s national grammar day. is that one of those bullshit holidays like be nice to the elderly or hug a republican day?</p>http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/427099830http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/427099830Thu, 04 Mar 2010 18:04:34 -0600<p>happy birthday, @<a href="http://twitter.com/baileygenine">baileygenine</a>! i made a sandwich just for you, but the internet ate it (even the crust).</p>http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/424617089http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/424617089Wed, 03 Mar 2010 13:53:01 -0600<p>yes, condescending windshield repairman, this look of contempt is for you. would you like to see the accompanying hand gesture, too?</p>http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/424617085http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/424617085Wed, 03 Mar 2010 13:53:01 -0600<p>don’t judge a book by its cover. there may be crack rocks in the hollowed-out center.</p>http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/423661018http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/423661018Wed, 03 Mar 2010 00:06:38 -0600<p>little known fact about sound: when you are trying to take a nap, the decibel level of wind chimes increases exponentially.</p>http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/423193823http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/423193823Tue, 02 Mar 2010 20:12:12 -0600<p>pimiento loaf is the culinary equivalent of brett butler’s voice.</p>http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/421048264http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/421048264Mon, 01 Mar 2010 20:17:20 -0600<p>bumper stickers are really just tramp stamps for your car (and i sure as hell don’t want “jesus is coming look busy” directly above my ass).</p>http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/421048257http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/421048257Mon, 01 Mar 2010 20:17:20 -0600<p>today could sure use a charles bronson montage backed by the sweet, sweet sounds of biz markie singing “hit me with your best shot.”</p>http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/420567540http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/420567540Mon, 01 Mar 2010 16:14:27 -0600<p>canadian mimes? inflatable giant beavers? this can only have one ending.</p>http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/419289368http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/419289368Sun, 28 Feb 2010 23:34:39 -0600<p>and tomorrow, everyone goes back to acting as though canada doesn’t exist.</p>http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/418825763http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/418825763Sun, 28 Feb 2010 19:51:12 -0600<p>“compulsory hockey tweet.”</p>http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/418825781http://mouthfullaplatinum.com/post/418825781Sun, 28 Feb 2010 19:51:12 -0600